Thinking about having sex for the first time? This is an important and super personal decision, and sometimes you may not be sure if you’re ready to have sex. With this in mind, here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you make your decision:
- Why do you want to have sex? And is the decision to have sex coming from you or someone else? The decision is yours. Remember, consent is always a must, and that means that both people have to agree to have sex, without any kind of manipulation. Also, if you’re thinking about having sex to “just get it over with”, because you feel like all of your friends have already “done it”, or because you think it might make you more popular or feel more mature, you’re probably not ready to have sex. Pressure can come from a lot of places, including your partner, your peers, and what you read and watch, but pressure shouldn't be the reason you have sex.
- Does having sex now line up with your values and goals? In other words, will having sex right now — and all that it can mean, good and bad — fit with your personal values and the goals you have for things like your education and relationships?
- Is there respect and trust between you and the person you’re thinking about having sex with? It’s important that both people feel safe and are able to talk about what they want and need, physically and emotionally, from this experience. Have you thought about what you want and don’t? Are you ready to listen to what the other person might want or not? And, have you thought about how you might feel emotionally after having sex? Is there someone you can talk to if unexpected feelings come up?
- Do you know how you can prevent pregnancy, if that’s not what you want right now? What about how to protect yourself from STIs? And beyond that, are you comfortable talking with your partner about using condoms and getting tested for STIs?
Think about your answers. Take all the time you need to decide if you’re really ready. Although this decision should be yours and yours alone, it may be helpful to talk about it with someone you trust, like a trusted adult or friend. And, if you decide you’re ready, these tips may be useful as you think about what you need to do next.
Check out our video for more information on how to know if you’re ready to have sex.
Tags: sex, first time, am-I-ready-?