Sex education is more than putting a condom on a banana or a list of birth control options. Ideally, you’re talking with your kid at every age, about all sorts of topics that live under the “sex education” umbrella.
One really crucial topic is self-esteem and body image. You may not immediately think of this as sex education, but helping your kid grow up confident in who they are — both inside and out — will help them make better decisions throughout their whole lives about sex, relationships, and their mental and physical health.
Here’s what you can do with your preschooler, elementary schooler, middle schooler, and high schooler to support positive self-esteem and body image.
In preschool, you can:
- Avoid judging your own or other people’s bodies. Instead, focus on talking about all the cool things our bodies can do (climb, hug, dance, etc) or cultural elements of our bodies that support feelings of pride (for example, natural hair, skin color, different abilities or body types).
- Tell your kid that they’re a good person and worthy of love, even when they make mistakes or show big feelings.
In elementary school, you can:
- Talk with your kid about how everyone is unique, and that this is a good thing. We all have different likes and interests — we can be happy and confident about our interests, and still support others who have different interests.
- Support your kid in dressing, doing their hair, etc., however makes them feel comfortable and happy (within your budget and weather appropriate, of course), without judging or shaming them for their choices.
In middle school, you can:
- Reinforce for them that their body is beautiful and amazing, regardless of what their peers or the media is telling them. Talk with them about unrealistic body standards portrayed in our culture, and how these images are often photoshopped, and being marketed by companies who want you to buy something to make your body “more acceptable.” This is especially helpful for kids of color, kids who are disabled, or are marginalized in other ways.
- Talk with them about your (and their) values, and encourage them to trust themselves to make good decisions based on these values. Let them know that their inner voice can guide them in making better decisions than peer pressure or trying to fit in or seem cool.
In high school, you can:
- Talk with them about things that make them feel bad about themselves (like scrolling through models’ pages on Instagram), and things that make them feel good about themselves (like journaling or playing music), and make a plan together to commit time to things that help them feel good.
- Help them see how they can take care of their body in positive ways. This could include movement that feels good, food that is nourishing to their bodies and brains, wearing clothes/hairstyles that feel authentic and help them express themselves, and more.
There’s no better resource than a supportive parent. You don’t need to be an expert, you just have to be willing to talk AND listen. Learn more about how to be your kid’s go-to resource for answers and advice, from pre-K to college.
Tags: body image